I've been in the middle of my life, and haven't really touched the keyboard, except to check my e-mail and download soup recipes. No excuse really, just that my dear hubby has been traveling an awful lot, and by the time evening rolls around I'm just to pooped to think of anything interesting to say.
Except have you ever experienced a panic attack? I don't mean a moment of panic, but a real, middle of the night, heart pounding, think you are having a cardiac arrest, panic attack? I've had a couple now (conveniently when my husband is traveling) and they must be stopped. My girlfriend asked me, well, what do you do for you? I thought she was asking something in a foreign language, so I just looked at her with a blank look, but she continued, that maybe I need to blog more about the stuff that I feel anxious about.
I will keep my anxiety in a little box with my irrational fears, and maybe my paranoia as well, and it can be one big party in there, and I will not look and see what that noise is, because it might really be something this time, and I really, really don't want that, so there.
In other words, my anxiety isn't up for blogging. Unless the panic attacks get really bad. Maybe then, unless I'm dying of a heart attack.
I saw some friends for breakfast this morning. I've decided that I need to tap into my friends' creativity more - one of them SPINS FIBER!!! and the other one does floral arranging type stuff. These are things I cannot do. Not that I've tried spinning, but my floral arranging looks like something that my 5 year old did -- and she has a better idea of it than me. (the joke here is that I did my own flowers for my wedding) They looked o.k. Still they'd look better if I had any actual skill, rather than enthusiasm. (loads of that, though.)
So that is it in a nutshell, aren't you glad you asked?
Saturday, January 19, 2008